Atom the Artist

The beauty, The lovely looks, No one understand how it looks, When you take off your glass, Magnification, Cooks, Heat and simmer, Like a well prepared dinner, Course by course, But of course, Sweet like a pomegranate, I have to have it, As long as you take the time, Put in the work, And everything will be better than fine, The juices on my fingers, Like mike Tyson in a amateur fight, A ringer, I was knocked out, Tko 1st round bout, A silence with nails digging, If you are to speak like that, im listening, Singing, Ears ringing with what you have to say, A passion that sprays, All that needs to be said o my I say, To listen, to live, to love another day.

To use again would to be my divine end, Loosing control, Amping my life that to me is so droll, Where does it begin, and where does it end, In this life, All I ask for is friend, A companion, Someone that would never abandon, The real thing in this world, That we all search for but never have, To hold my hand, To Take a STAND. The knife cuts so deep, It is “o my goodness….” So sweet, The blood, The trickle, The smell, The tickle, The warmth, The control, Even though I remove a part of me, some how, now I feel whole, The pain, The pleasure, The cold steel, Releasing the warmth, Changing just like the weather, The blade screams hot white cold pain, Yet I stay quiet, In my mind I stay sane, Plain jane, Me o my, Day in day out, How do I get by, What do I do? How do I win. Misunderstood for my torture, Abused for my sin, Confused by my feelings, Like im sitting on ceilings, Upside down is right side up, WTF, Im stuck. Working for more, Yet what is the score? Trying to get it out, Yet what is it all for?

“STe@M"

“SteAm" 

The Steam, and The Heat, The Sweat From My brow,

Staring Into space, Sitting Still, I don’t know How,

Blinding Silence, Deafening Visions, So Many Decisions,

 To Be Made,

To Act out, To Have Control, Sitting in This Seat,

Reality Appears So Droll,

Like An Old Scroll, Found Again Through Time,

I Open Up, And The Elixir Of Life I Define and Describe,

Like  A Bribe To be Had, But Not to be taken, 

As Soon As the Initial Line is Read, Hands Stiffen, 

Finger Tips Begin to Shake, And,

Yet I sit Here, Once Again Abandoned, 

Lonely and Still,

Still I Sit and I Contemplate,

Reoccurring Thoughts, And The Simplicity of Days,

I Recite Dates from the past that have Described My Fate,

IS it to Late?, I ask, AS the sun goes down, 

Sitting Here Looking down, Inside the town, 

An outsider, With a Name the doubles for a noun, 

 That is how I am Seen as I am passed like a Thing, 

So I think of Things To Come, Yet the Outcome is uncertain,

How Can I Be All this and Yet still describe My self empty as a person,

Stuck in a Prison, AS if an outcast, Behind Bars And Ignored,

Yet I Still Fight at My Probation Hearing, 

Inadvertently Asking For More,

Sore From The beatings, Yet not Feeling pain,

As I sit in my Spot, Cold, And alone, Moving but not getting anywhere,

Why do I Describe all of this, as if someone cared,

So don’t look with Doe Eyes, yet continue to pass by, 

I am Happiness, Coupled With pain, 

Yet I emit an honesty, it keeps me from being looked at the same, 

Vini, Vinny, Vici,

I Came, I saw,  and I conquered, 

Yet When you Feel My Absence, Be Real, Remember When I Came,

All I Request is Not Much Of you,

I may be seen as Whatever you Want, crazy and untamed,

Inconcieved, Brutally Honest, Call me what you like, The Outcome is still the Same,

All I ask is that you Simplify Your Complications,

You, and Just You remember my Name.

   “Days Go By”
Days Go By When I was young I wanted to rap,
Be discovered like Kriss Kross,
Be original like Run DMC,
And eternal like Biggie,
Not Flashy like Vanilla Ice,
But real and raw like Machiavelli back then know as Tupac,
May he and Christopher Wallace rest in piece,
Because growing up I was told that whatever you dream can happen,
I guess when that memo was sent out all of the record executives were in their offices napping,
Or maybe thats why adults are birds to me;
expelling air from their mouths,
Lips always flapping,
Or maybe its because no one told me all the hard work I would need to do to succeed I found that out later on,
but in my young days my favorite subject was slacking off,
I thought life was preplanned,
I all would occur magically,
That I was predestined to turn out successfully,
And at one time I thought that if you dreamt it,
It would come true, that doors would open to some people,
Just for being you,
I figured some were born to be homeless,
Some destined to be rich,
It was predetermined who would get straight As and that some would not even know the warmth of the suns rays,
I thought it would all fall into my lap,
This, This, Or that,
Or that whatever a good person wanted its as easy as that,
But I learned later on in life that simplicity was not that easy,
There were so many opportunities I should have Would have,
And could have done,
But their was work involved and it was easier having fun,
Instead pursuing frivolous envies,
And intentions,
Engaging in an exorbitant amount of mischievous acts,
And all the while having innocent Malice intentions,
Here is my naive Confession,
Days go by,
weather your wrong or right you got to put up a fight kid,
Days go by,
Live your life but one day you have got to accept reality,
Days go by,
Sometimes I think about my life yo tell me what your think,
Days go by,
Carpe Diem,
It is your choice,
weather you live or die,
LIVE or DIE.

iTY

i thank you,
i found something special in you, and all that you are,
i love how when i see u, i smile and i see us going O so far,
with a reality in you, i don’t know what to do,
you are pure perfection, deserving of all the worlds affection,
just the thought of you points me in the right direction,
you astound and profound, i don’t know what to do when ur not around, i hope you’re aware at the love i have for you, and how much i care, i dare u to find another, you cant for you are my wife, my life, together we are non other, i think of your beauty, u are my muse my inspiration, you are my cutie, now and forever i love thee, and you make me as light as a feather, and for that i thank you.....

Yeah so?
I met her off a website, and it was magical,
It was something definite it was not sporadical,
And that night, we were the only two in the world,
I saw fireworks that lit up the night sky, oh that girl,
Brighter than neon lights, no im not gonna lie,
We had a whirlwind romance,
It left me in a trance,
Like a sexy tango, a sexy as dance,
She had curves, and words, and a mind ive never seen before,
I was the underdog,
So how did I score?
How did I win, or I thought I did at least,
But I treated it with no respect,
Like a thing,
She was the wind beneath my wing,
For the time that it lasted,
I did her wrong,
And now im just blasted,
I lost, I loved,
I wish it could have lasted,
I was classless, and I didn’t learn,
Now im stuck here all alone and all I can do is let it burn,
She evoked something different,
I don’t know how she did it,
I wish we could kick,
But that’s not in the cards now,
And how could I be dumb that you ask?
Once I won, how did I drop to the bottom of the class?

I didn’t do right,
I didn’t Fight,
I didn’t see the light,

I cant go back to that, I cant be bad like that,
Head my words, there not just a story,
I got left for the better pick, isn’t that sick,
I thought I had it all, and it dropped like a ball,
It bounced away from me,

Disconnect,

Its my fault, I didn’t show how I really felt,
I lacked respect,
But that’s my bad, all I did,
I hid from what I felt,
But when I would ever see her, maybe she didn’t know,
I would melt,
With all that I felt,
She never saw,
Even though everyone else did,
She needed more,
Something I couldn’t do, not never, just not at this time,
But it was her time to shine, and she did like dia (mond)
And in the rough,
I know she’s tough,
I know she’s real, the complete deal,

I messed up, and now that im stuck, I don’t know what to do, I don’t want anything, not anymore, I just want more in my life, im trying to push for more, but the heart is a muscle and now its torn and sore. Its my life that needs focus, im scattered and battered, my mental is not sound, so its time to solidify it, and put my feet on the ground, and walk, no run up that hill, time to do it big, time to do what I feel. That’s WIN.

My life’s been a stress,
I’m blessed for that girl,
But she’s gone and I need to give my love life a rest,
It hurts to breath, my complete chest.
So now to use my mind,
So don’t count me out,
Keep me in mind,
Im the kind, that rises up,
Like a phoenix from the ashes,
One day ill shine so bright you’ll need a new pair of Oakley glasses,
And ill make all my dreams come true,
Except when it comes to her,
I loved, I fussed, I lost all of her trust,
Shes gone for good? How is that good?
To loose her completely, I thought that it would defeat me,
But I treated her like a thing,
Now the best thing ever is gone,
On another road, this is my song.

I will win no matter what, I will be better than the best,
I will work for more,
I will work to be blessed,
I will commit to what I do,
Even though its done differently,
I will be great,
And I will never feel hate,
I will succeed,
I may bleed,
But I will give my all,
Write that down,
Remember this date.
Maybe it was fate.
Now its to late.
(Alas I will never forget her and our first date.)